Tuesday, February 13, 2007

Valentine's Day...Feh!!!

Let's talk above loooove, boys and girls. You know that emotion that causes people to do the most unusual and bizarre things...like putting on a diaper and a trenchcoat and driving 900 miles to allegedly kidnap and murder a rival for a stud shuttle pilot's affections. Like I've always said when you have a big time career that many people dream about there's no man or woman that hot to throw said career out the window by getting involved in a love triangle.

But this isn't about that poor tormented NASA astronaut Lisa Nowak and her apparent career-ending meltdown. This is about me and why I don't really get all geeked up over the upcoming Valentine's Day holiday. As you may or may not know dear reader, I am single. Happily Single. I took myself off the market years ago. Hell, I never put myself on the market to begin with. I don't have a girlfriend, and have never been in a serious relationship with a member of the opposite sex, and no, I am not gay, not that there's anything wrong with that. I'm just not that interested in a romantic relationship with anyone. It all boils down to this. I don't need the hassles of romance and relationships. Lest you think that I'm a libertine who believes in one night stands and casual sexual relations with complete strangers, you can put that thought out of your mind. Ever since my time in the service, when I sampled some of the delicacies of the Orient in a fit of youthful enthusiasm aided with more than a few bottles of San Miguel and a handful of Uncle Sam's greenbacks, I have been chaste. An American Virgin, if you will. Which means that I have not had sex since 1986, which for those of you who have trouble with math, is 21 years ago. I follow the doctrine of Christianity that says that if you're not married, you don't have sex. Old Fashioned? Out of touch? Maybe, but I don't have to deal with kids or nasty diseases either. Not that I don't have the thoughts and urges, mind you, but if one of them comes along, all I have to do is watch the teenaged ghettomamas in my neighborhood struggle with crying offspring that they don't really want, but can't get rid of, and that kills that lustful urge quick, fast, and in a hurry.

There are times when I lament being alone, and not having someone romantically in my life. I do have a very important female friend who has helped me to learn to love, but more on her later. Despite pouring out my thoughts and opinions in a blog, I am an intensely private person. I don't let a lot of people into the walled garden that is my life. I am a loner, who is used to being independent and not having to live my life according to the schedule of others. When I go out, I go out alone. I go to sporting events alone. I go to social events alone. I want to dictate when I enter or leave a party. I'm used to controlling my schedule and my off-time as I choose and don't want to be beholden to others. If I'm involved with someone, that means that I have to go where they want to go, and do what they want to do. If they want to leave before I'm ready, then I have to accede to their wishes. I don't do the bar scenes. I have a rather low tolerance for drunks, although I drink, and I can't stand the noise and the crowds, and the whole "See and be seen" attitude that that permeates that atmosphere. The American Legion I belong to is nice and quiet with an older crowd that isn't interested in all the games and bullshit found in bars catering to younger folks. I go to bars to hang out with people I know and like, have a few pops, and unwind. I'm not there to pick up the little hottie at the end of the bar who's giving me the eye and trying desperately to look cute. I'm too old for those games. I'm fairly straight when dealing with the opposite sex. If women are interested in what i have to offer, I wish they would just come out and say it. Don't make google eyes, or try and get me to interpret your body language, or play hard to get. I don't do flirting, and I won't try to figure out your motives. You do that kind of ambiguous crap around me, and you'll go home alone, because I'm not interested in trying to figure out whether your "No" actually means " Yes."

There are those who say that the best place to find a mate is in church. That's assuming that there are eligible women in your church that were born in the same decade as you. That is not the case at Holy Cross. Most of the women there are either very married and/or very...shall we say...mature. So that's out.

But hope is not completely lost, because I do have a woman who plays a significant role in my life. Denise is an interesting individual. She came into my life about 12 years ago when I was at CCAC. She bopped into my life, carved out a rather large hole into my heart, and proceeded to wedge herself into said hole, and to date ,will not leave despite numerous efforts to remove her. After a while I gave up, and she's been my best friend ever since. We have an interesting relationship. She's a combination best friend/little sister/ not-quite- girlfriend-but- more- than- a- close- friend. We care very much for each other, and I pledged to her that I would always be there for her when we first got together. She tested that pledge early on, and found me true to my word, and now we're kind of a couple. There is no romance or sex in this relationship although, she loves my backrubs as a touch of intimacy. She can be difficult be deal with sometimes. Very intelligent, she has a law degree, but like me, she's still trying to figure out exactly where her place in the sun is. I can't imagine how life would be without her. We spend a lot of time together, we go to plays and ballets, and I also spend large amounts of money feeding her, because she loves to eat out. She has some issues w/ self esteem, and her medical problems keep a large part of the phramaceutical industry in business, but she's my girl, and I love her better than I love myself. She has taught me how to love, and how to live with having a woman in my life. And even though, I find love in the 21st century to not be my cup of tea, Denise does fill a hole in my life, and with her, who needs a girlfriend?? I've got the best of both worlds.
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