I'm actually kind of happy I'm off the market in terms of dating.
Saves me a boat load of money. I can come and go as I please. I don't have to leave whenever my significant other decides to go.
I don't have to dress to impress. I don't have to be dragged to boring events to meet with her friends, who most likely will gossip about me being totally unsuited for her, and with whom I would rather stuff my head into a wood chipper than spend five minutes with.
And any woman who ends up getting into a relationship with me will most likely be disappointed with who she ended up with and will either break up with me or cheat on me.
So I save myself a bunch of heartache and drama as well. It's all about living life with as few hassles as possible, kids. #JustSayin