Saturday, February 13, 2021

Trump Impeachment 2--Electric Boogaloo

Well, now that Trump Impeachment 2--Electric Boogaloo has come and gone with Trump being acquitted as every person with an IQ greater than single digits expected, maybe after the various media outlets and their punditocracy have analyzed the outcome to death, the country can move along to more pressing matters and leave Trump to stew about his future at Mar-A-Lago while playing golf, getting even fatter, and preparing for his next legal obstacles.  

But, if there's one thing Trump hates, it's being ignored. He's a publicity whore. He has to find a way to get back into the spotlight and the news media on all sides, rushing to fill the 24 hour news cycle will gladly oblige. He's gonna be gloating like nobody's business. I doubt that Trump will go away, much less quietly. 

 Unlike previous Presidents who were happy to put their White House years behind them and live some sort of a regular life. Trump is incapable of that. He's hell bent to wring every possible usable bit of hype as a former President as he can. This was his greatest achievement. To be leader of the free world. And he's gonna milk that cow until ALL dem teats is dry!!  

As easily the most controversial former President since, maybe Nixon, Trump has been the given the greatest opportunity to burnish his brand and legacy since "The Apprentice." Look for him to find all sorts of new and exciting ways (to him) to keep his fat face in front of the cameras, by hook or by crook. 

 Trump won't be satisfied just languishing on the golf course. He's got the bit in his teeth and whether we want to see him or not, he'll be out there making the Republicans and his supporters heel, roll over, and sit up and beg. And Trump says he doesn't like dogs...Now he's got about 74 million of them to play fetch. 😁😁😁

Tuesday, February 02, 2021

A Squarish, Roundish Peg.

If 23 and Me can be trusted, I'm approx 35% European consisting of 28% British/Irish and a smattering of other Euro ethnicities. 62% Sub-Saharan African 32% of which is Nigerian and a smattering of other African ethnicities. The rest is just random trace material from Asia and other world regions. 

 The British/Irish comes from my father, who apparently was white. I also thought he was very light skinned. But there's no way to find out about his ancestry because he's been dead over 20 years. And even then, I knew nothing about his family. I never asked him about it. It never occurred to me to ask him. 

 I have a different father than my brothers and sister, all of whom are also dead. Apparently, I must have been a one-off between my mother and my father. I didn't know much about their relationship. Never asked about it.  It never occurred to me to ask them.  They obviously knew each other enough to have me. But they didn't live together.  So, I'm all over the place.

 Those home DNA kits only pin down to a specific region of the world. They obviously don't go down to the minute levels. The user uses that data as a base reference and  refines their study by talking with their relatives, researching family records, etc. My close relatives are all dead. I wouldn't even know how to get started on researching all that stuff.

  I've always had more white friends than black friends. I've always felt more comfortable around white folks than black folks. Maybe my being bullied by black kids in middle school contributed to that feeling.  I don't really conform to common black stereotypes. I don't really listen to hip-hop and rap, unless it's the older stuff. I don't like basketball. I'm not all that fixated on personal appearance. I don't dress up. Don't care about my hair.  I go to a Black church, which I love. But it's an Episcopal church, which isn't really big amongst black folks. I sing gospel, but I don't particularly like listening to it. 

I'm what black folks might call an Oreo. Dark (more light skinned) on the outside, white on the inside. I don't fit in completely anywhere. I'm a squarish, roundish peg that kinda fits in square or round holes with a little persuasion, but not perfectly.

Maybe this admission won't get invited to the cookout or the spades game anymore. Maybe I'll have to turn in my black card, as I'm not fully a part of the tribe, as it were.  But I have to figure my own way in the world. Maybe by straddling both cultures. 

Sad that it took me into my late 50's to come to this conclusion.  But I have good friends of all races and ethnicities. And they put up with my quirks and eccentricities. And as long they're willing to do so, I'm happy.

Monday, January 11, 2021

Pirates, Steelers and Penguins? Umm, no.

As I’ve gotten older, I get less and less geeked up about pro sports. Especially the teams that represent Pittsburgh. I don't lose a minute of sleep whether they win or lose. 

Hell, I don't sleep very well anyways, but the Pirates, Steelers and Penguins don't contribute to my insomnia. I refuse to be Joe Shit the Yinzer who has to die a thousand deaths every time they win or lose.  I don't use 'we' to refer to these teams. Who the hell am I and how does my involvement increase these teams chances of winning?  

That's not to say that I hate the teams. If they win, they win. If they lose, they lose. The sun comes up again the next day.  Wins and losses don't direct my life.  I just choose to follow from a distance.  I'm not just going to call up the sports talk yakkers on the radio and moan about Ben's four picks against the Browns. I'm not going to vent on Facebook about Mike Tomlin's inability to win in the playoffs. In the grand scheme of things, it really doesn't matter. 

The last Steeler game I went to in person was in the 80's.  The last Penguin game I went to was...I don't remember. It was at the Igloo, and the best seats in the house were $50. These days, you can't get an order of nachos, a beer and a hamburger for that. The last Pirate game I went to was about two years ago when a friend of mine asked me to go so I could get her a giveaway shirt for her and her daughter. The previous time was when some friends invited me because Chicago was playing a post-game concert. (Which, due to a rain delay, didn't happen until midnight. To Chicago's everlasting credit and professionalism, they honored their commitment and gave their fans 45 minutes at 1:00am, but I digress.)  

Aaaaaanyway.  I'm not looking down my nose at those who truly are Pirates, Steelers, or Penguins fans.  If you enjoy watching them whether in person or on TV, God love you.  And if you have to call some dude on the radio up to go hammer and tongs with them about why the Pirates suck or the Stillers can't win in the playoffs, or why the Penguins' power play is in the shit. Knock yourself out.  

But anymore, you need to have big money to watch games in person. Between tickets, parking, food and merch, it can cost a few hundred bucks. That's bucks I ain't got. And being that I don't have a TV nor cable and consume my media thru a tablet, watching games thru streaming isn't really an option.  So my limited interest in Pittsburgh's Big Three sports franchises comes from those circumstances. 

Now, I do have a team I give a shit about and that's the pro soccer team in town. The Riverhounds. I've had season tickets for the last couple years, and I go pretty hard for them. 

Why? I played soccer in high school and the service. I sucked at it. But I enjoy watching it. Thing is, I only care about the Hounds. I don't care about MLS, or the Premier League.  But unlike the Big Three, I can go to Highmark with a twenty, watch some pretty good minor league soccer and munch up at the concession stand and come back home with change from that twenty.  

And I tend to root for the underdog. Pirates, Steelers and Penguins don't need my support.  But the Hounds are grassroots. They play in front of a few thousand. Their players don't command huge salaries. They're looking to get an MLS deal. The Hounds don't have much in terms of media coverage or TV deals.  Sports media in this town couldn't find Highmark if I put them at the West gate.  But it's a fine way to spend a Saturday night.  They want my business. And I'll give it to them.

And ironically, I have a degree in Sports Management from Robert Morris. Which 20 years on, was probably a waste of time, money and brain cells in that the sheepskin isn't being used.  It just sits on my wall, mocking me.  I just didn't want to study anything that involved calculus.  Algebra kicks my ass.  You start using letters to represent numbers, my brain has a meltdown. And as far as I'm concerned, algebra was the work of the Devil.  I'm not very smart.  But I digress...

Ahh, Robert Morris. Yet another overlooked institution in this town that deserves my respect. In terms of college athletics, everybody roots for the big University in Oakland. They block out the sun in Pittsburgh.  Even Duquesne gets love here. Bobby Mo, not so much.  The scrappy little brother of Pittsburgh's D1 colleges. The fifth horse in the four horse race between Pitt, Duquesne, Penn State, and West Virginia.  The little school out by the airport that  punches above its weight and occasionally lands a jab. 

Why Bobby Mo, you ask? Because they took a crap ton of my credits from CCAC, the price was right, and at the time, if you could walk in a straight line and count to five, they accepted you. In retrospect, The Relentless Pursuit of Higher Education wasn't very well thought out.  But I digress...

Though RMU in 2021 is a very different school than when I went there in the late 90's. But it's MY school. I'm a part of it. I've given that school money. I have a brick on campus that I bought to support the building of the student chapel. I value loyalty. Once I latch onto something that earned that loyalty. I don't give it up easily.  That's me. I have to have a connection. I have to have skin in the game. I have to have an investment. And I just don't have that with the Big Three. Any swinging dick can root for the Pirates, Steelers, and Penguins. Rooting for the Hounds or RMU? That takes commitment. To zig when everyone else zags. At least to me.  But what do I know?  

I'm just some idiot who likes to write long winded screeds read by five people and a Cocker Spaniel on Facebook.

Friday, January 08, 2021


My presidential standard for Joe Biden is...Simply. Be. Competent. No more, no less. I don't expect Washington, or Lincoln, or Roosevelt, or Truman, or Kennedy, or God forbid, even Reagan. 

Just don't shit the bed, stay off Twitter, don't play golf every other damn day, don't engage in needless hyperbole. If he has to lie, and he will, it's part of the job, at least make your lies somewhat credible and don't embarrass us when dealing with our allies and our foes.

 Hire people who have a clue and not because they gave you money. (Although every President does that, just make sure that their expertise is somewhat related to the job you're hiring them for!) Unlike hiring a neurosurgeon to run the federal housing agency! 

All I ask of Biden is: DON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID!!!! Just act like you've been there before. Be boring, plain, simple. Just do the damn job with as little fanfare and chaos as possible. Be the anti-Trump. Just settle for competent.

That's all I want.

Talk Me Off the Ledge.

Be reminded boys and girls. 

Just because I'm happy to see Trump take a long walk off a short pier, that doesn't mean I'm building a shrine to Joe Biden in my backyard. I'm not exactly expecting Biden to be the great American savior.  Unfortunately, he was the best the Democrats could dig up after a long and torturous campaign.  

I'm registered Democrat, but if a legit third party came along that wasn't full of batshit oddballs and that provided legit common sense ideas, I'd kick the donkey to the curb in a heartbeat. 

As far as I'm concerned, neither political party in this country gives two shits about the ordinary man/woman in the street. It's all about the special interests and who can throw the most money at our elected officials. And these days, both parties are sucking up to the full mooners at the extremes of the political spectrum. 

Democrats have forsaken their working class roots to become the party of the college educated elites. And while I'm college educated (If you count an unused sports management degree from Robert Morris educated.) I'm certainly not elite (Except in my own fractured mind.)  The Repubs have become the party of Trump, and we've all seen how that worked out.  If Biden can bring the country back from the precipice, more power to him, but I'm keeping my expectations low.  That way I'll be pleasantly surprised IF he delivers. Emphasis on IF!  

I'm disillusioned with the current state of American politics and while I will continue to vote because way too many people shed their blood to pay for that right, I'm not happy with the choices I'm seeing on my ballot. Any more it's like a choice between getting hit with a baseball bat or a sledgehammer.  Your mission , should you choose to accept it, is to talk me off the ledge. 🤮🤮🤮

Thursday, December 31, 2020

Begone 2020!!!!

Well boys and girls, I guess this is as good a time as any to put out Uncle P's Semi-Traditional New Year's Screed. 

For those who have just become Facebook friends this year, this is a more or less annual thing that I put out on New Year's Eve where I yammer senselessly about the year gone past and put forth my hopes and dreams for the coming years.  It's like all the other long tortured FB rants I put out over the years. Completely off the top of my head. No rhyme or reason. It'll be edited and amended multiple times of the day as stuff pops into my head after I finish writing. 

I am not a professional author.  I'm just some idiot who likes to write. And my style is wordy at best.  And don't expect the Great American Novel or some beautiful tome that you'll want to mold your life by or use to divine some hidden knowledge.  If you choose to use it as such, God help you. This, like most long posts like this will end up on my personal collection of writings at 

 My personal blog which I've maintained since 2006. It's the repository of all the bits and pieces of mental gunk that accumulates in my head and won't go away willingly.  I don't advertise it, don't really care if anybody reads it. It's my personal real estate on teh Interwebs.  It exists primarily for my self therapy. Read it your own risk...or not. I don't care. 

Ooookay, preliminaries aside. Let's just say that THIS YEAR SSSSSUUUUUUCCCCCCKKKKKKEEEEEDDDDD! If ever there was a year that the world would give anything to see the back of, it was 2020.  It started out fine, then a tiny virus too small to be seen with the naked eye caused the world to be turned inside out.  Countries locked down their borders. They asked, and some cases ordered their residents to stay home. Face masks became a required article of wardrobe. The six foot shuffle became a new dance step as the term 'social distancing' became a part of our vocabulary. Businesses large and small dependent on social interaction shut down. Many never to open again. Employees of those businesses were thrown out of work while state struggled to handle the overflow of unemployment insurance claims.  

The federal government was thrown into chaos as various states took differing approaches towards dealing with the new virus. Some locked down completely, some took a laissez-faire attitude until the positive cases mounted up. Congress wrestled with providing trillions of dollars of aid to the population. 

Either way governors were damned whatever way they chose.  Cultural arts organizations shut their theaters and museums.  Opera and, ballet  companies and symphony orchestras could not do live performances losing millions in irreplaceable revenues. Schools shut down forcing kids to learn via Zoom and Microsoft Teams. Everybody learned to homeschool whether they wanted to or not.   Sports leagues changed the way they did business. Smaller leagues shut down completely. Bigger leagues either shortened their seasons, played in "bubbles" and radically changed when they were to begin play. 

And on top of all this was the summer of our discontent.  The killings of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor and others by police ignited afresh protests against police brutality against unarmed Black folks. The voice of protest rang out throughout the country. Some of which turned violent. Some of which turned destructive. All of which added to the anger and hostility of a population being denied simple pleasures as eating out, hitting the bars and watching sports live and in person.  The country ground its teeth on edge.  But the fun wasn't over yet. 

There was a little thing called the Presidential election.  I'll be the first to say that the choice between which two of the old decrepit white dudes we ended up with was the lesser of two evils.  

Trump needed no introduction.  To be graceful, as I do have some Trump supporters in my FB friends.  There was nothing in between about President Trump. Either you loved him, or you hated him. His years as President upended many of the norms and expectations we asked of our elected leaders.  He careened from one extreme to the other spreading chaos and unpredictability wherever he went.  The Left couldn't stand him. The Right virtually deified him.  

As a result of one of the most diversified Democratic campaigns in US history, involving a slate of candidates covering all manner of races,, creeds, colors, sexual orientations and whether they pronounced To-MAY-to or To-MAH-to, we ended up with...Joe Biden. An old dude who spent almost half a century in elected office, was the former vice President to Barack Obama, 78 years young, and was probably the most mediocre candidate of the field. Give Joe credit, he chose a history making VP candidate in Kamala Harris that may end up moving into the White House sooner than she expects because, frankly, I doubt Biden finishes his first term. The Presidency of the US is one of the toughest jobs in the world that chews up its officeholders and spits them out. Seen Obama lately? A lot of snow on his roof.  There are people who retire from jobs much less stressful than POTUS at much younger ages.  Maybe Biden will prove me wrong, but I doubt it. 

Long story short, this thing is getting ponderous even for me. After an election where paper ballots and stamped envelopes replaced the voting booth for millions of Americans, Biden ended up winning. But Trump being Trump, refuses to relinquish the stage making baseless claim after claim that the election was stolen from him.  The Pirates have a better winning record than Trump in terms of the number of lawsuits and court cases brought forward versus the number won. Something like 1-58. At least the Bucs won about a third of their games this season. 

Well there's a lot more stuff I can go over, but this thing is running long. Covid has claimed the lives of about 300k Americans in 2020. It is turned our lives inside out and upside down. Most Americans are willing to put up with the inconveniences that have resulted citing a need to support the public good, but a significant amount are thumbing their noses in defiance claiming infringements on their freedoms.

 I don't know. All I know is that 2020 has been a year that I'd describe with a vulgar Navy term that rhymes with 'Floatpuck.' I'll leave it to you to figure it out. 

Aaaaanyway. I'll conclude that personally, 2020 wasn't a bad year for me. I dodged a bullet in terms of staying employed. I have stayed free of the Covid bug.  Other than buying waaay too many books that will be gathering dust until I get around to reading them. I did miss going to Riverhounds games, and spending time with friends.

 Haven't seen the inside of Holy Cross in months. Can't bear to watch services online. I do miss going out to eat. I pretty much just stay home but occasionally go out to get food and beer.  Tonight, I'm planning on staying home, drinking a couple of British beers. I was thinking of getting a bottle of Budweiser or Coors Light so I could send off a shitty year by drinking shitty beer.  

Well, kids. I hope that 2021 is a damn sight better than 2020 for you. It's a pretty low bar. May you all maintain or attain good health. Kiss your kids and critters. Even though 2020 is going away, Covid is still out there, until vaccinations are commonplace, and we put this bug behind us, mask up, do the six foot shuffle, and watch yourselves out there. 

May the Lord bless you and keep you.
May the Lord make his face to shine upon you and be gracious unto you. 
May the Lord lift up his countenance upon you, and grant you peace. 

Be good to each other, love each other. Bear each other's burdens. We're all in this together, no matter how much we like to wall ourselves off under the guise of rugged individualism.  Humans are social creatures. We need each other. And sacrificing for the public good helps us all in the end.

From the Little House in the Ghetto located in the bucolic and pastoral neighborhood of Homewood-Brushton in the fair city of Picksburgh, Taxsylvania. This is your 99 and 44/100% pure Pierre Wheaton signing off. See yinz on the other side. 😁😁😁🤣🤣🤣

Monday, November 23, 2020

Trump and Televangelists ...

Know what's funny? Trump calling on all his supporters to cough up the bucks needed to pay for all these lawsuits that keep blowing up in his face. 

You know who also used to shake down their supporters for dubious causes?


You remember Jerry Falwell, Pat Robertson, Jimmy Swaggart, Oral Roberts and that whole rogues gallery of B-list Gospel hucksters who'd plead, beg, and cajole their viewers into sending them money to support their "ministries" (read, their bank accounts.) Because they believed that Gawd laid a burden on their heart that they needed paid for by the financial assistance of their "prayer warriors,"  Or some other Christianese bovine feces used to separate the faithful from their money. 

 You'd hear about the little old ladies who resorted to eating cat food because they signed over their social security checks to these fraudsters for some cheap "anointed" prayer cloth, or to have their preacher of choice "pray" for them.  When in fact that money went to pay for an air conditioned doghouse (Jim and Tammy Bakker) or that Bentley or private jet, or the $5,000 suit or the $10,000 mink coat or the 20,000 seat mega church that God told them that they HAD to have in order to propagate His word throughout the world.  And the people would eat that shit up. And the money kept rolling in. 

The Christian media industrial complex brings in billions of dollars beaming out the Gospel to anyone who wants to hear it. And televangelists keep shouting to anyone standing still long enough that Christianity in America is under persecution. 🤣🤣🤣🤣  The average Christian in this country wouldn't know what persecution was if it walked up to them and smacked them in the head with a Thompson Chain-Reference NIV Bible with a fake leather zip-up cover. (I had one of those.) 

And of course, who would those who are willing to swipe the plastic to send their hard-earned cash to Rev. Bob's Mega-Jesus Explosion Church/Bookstore/Yoga Studio/Crab Shack, vote for?

 You guessed it, Trump.  A thrice married/twice divorced, misogynistic serial adulterer who ran casinos, built gold-plated opulent hotels, golf courses, and dodgy real estate developments financed and over leveraged with loans originating from a German bank more than willing to loan him money even after defaulting on a mountain of existing loans to the point that no US bank would touch Trump with a pole as long as the distance from the Earth to the Sun. Who became a Christian of convenience to woo the God/Guns/America crowd despite mentioning Two Corinthians and standing up in front of a church with a Bible in his hand. Upside down, no less. While telling an armed security detail to use pepper gas against peaceful protestors. If Trump actually tried to read that Bible he was carrying, it would have burst into flame.  I think you guys see the similarities. 

I have no problem with supporting a church. But I'd rather give my money to my local church. That way I can see with my own two eyes where the money's going.  If Holy Cross' priest all of a sudden showed up with a Roller in the parking lot instead of a Volkswagen, I'd know something was up.  But I guess, to each his own.  

Hey, another blog post!!  And a pretty good one too.  I'm really good at pulling these things out of my nether regions. But I'm not very good at ending them.

Sunday, November 22, 2020

The Thanksgiving/ Christmas/New Year's Triple Whammy.

I'm not really feeling the Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's Triple Whammy.

 Especially this year. In the case of Thanksgiving and Christmas, those are family holidays, best celebrated with family and loved ones.  As many of you know, family is not a big part of my life. All my close family are dead. Mother, Father, Grandparents, Sister, Brothers, that lot, all dead. 

Notice that I don't say that my relatives have "passed away", or "moved on", or are in a "better place." 

No, they're dead. 

I still have a few cousins and uncles, nieces and nephews, etc still kicking around. But I haven't talked to them in years. And I'm not really interested in renewing relations with them. 

We were never a close bunch. About the only time we got together was for weddings and funerals, and over the years, we had a lot of the latter and damn few of the former. I have no idea what or where my surviving relatives are, and I don't really care.  

I have some friends who kinda stand in for family.  But as nice as they are, they don't really replace blood. And this year has definitely put the kibosh on visiting my friends. I keep a policy of not hanging out with friends even if they are clear of the Covid bug, unless they invite me over. I don't go where I'm not welcome.  

But, pretty much, I go it alone. Not married, no girlfriend, not even a friend with benefits.  Just me.  I'm so used to doing the solo act that I probably have no idea about how to handle having someone in my life full time.  I'd probably end up screwing it up. I figure that any woman desperate enough to take up with me would be driven mad by my ways and end up leaving me, or worse, cheating on me.

 I fully intend on spending Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Year's alone at home watching TV and cuddled up with a nice six pack of decent beer. And my evergrowing collection of books of the dead tree and electronic variety. 

Not really feeling the upcoming onslaught of schmaltzy Holiday music.  The religious carols are fine. Christmas is first and foremost a religious holiday.  But the secular dreck, even the childhood favorites, I'd rather put my head into a wood chipper than subject my ears to that "Ho-Ho-Ho" horror. And once Thanksgiving ends, that crap will be on 24/7 until midnight on December 26, when, like the incessant political poop of our recent election, it all vanishes into the ether. 

 And of course, every store and radio station will be doing all Christmas, all the time over their air.  And Facebook and social media will be even more chock-a-bloc than usual with memes, inspirational posts and pictures of everybody celebrating with family.  Yeah, I'm not feeling these upcoming few weeks. I sure hope 2021 will be a damn sight better than 2020, because this year has been the drizzling shits. 

But for those of you who have close families who love each other, or at least don't hate each other, enjoy the upcoming holidays.  Love your relatives, no matter how much of a pain in the ass or batshit crazy they are. Because you never appreciate them fully until they're gone. Don't worry too much about me. I'm a hardy sort. I always figure out a way to amuse myself.