Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Do I or Don't I...

Should I or Shouldn't I...

I've been thinking about shutting down the Scribbler. Despite a wealth of news and issues worth blogging about, I find myself not interested in writing about them. Even the mundane minutiae that makes up the scintillating life of one Pierre Wheaton is not enough to drag my lazy ass out of the rack, (or away from the Ah! My Goddess! manga) long enough to render an opinion much less engage in even the wild assed speculation that is rampant in and on the blogosphere.

The Muse has left me. Hell, she packed up in the middle of the night and took off like a bat out of hell leaving me nothing but a scribbled note: Yo asshole, It has become painfully apparent that you're not even remotely interested in exercising the talents that were unearthed during that seven years and change paper chase/odyssey/"journey to find yerself" known as "The Relentless Pursuit of Higher Education". Because of that, I have chosen to go off and enlighten someone else with my literary influence. Don't try and follow me. Goodbye and good riddance ,chump.

A month ago, I tried to write a post about my changing religious values as I have aged. It's still sitting here as a draft waiting for me to finish it. Maybe I will finish it one day, but not today.

I can't explain what has happened. Maybe this grand experiment has run its course. I do have this annoying habit of taking on projects and only lasting a year or two with them before I get bored or burned out and just abandon it. I guess this blog will just end up like so many that were started with good intentions and then left to rot in the blogosphere, unread, unwanted and a casualty of the web 2.0 malady of waaaay too many people writing about shit that nobody cares about.

Lord knows that I don't want to kill this thing. There's some damn good writing in the 80 odd posts that are part and parcel of the Moonlight Scribbler. Some my earlier essays would have given more than a few news columnists the heebie-jeebies. Too bad I never had the ambition or the balls to actually try and publicize this stuff. Then again, that's the story of my life any more. I'm always so quick to hide my light under the proverbial bushel and then wonder why in God's creation my life has turned out to be the comedy of errors that it is. Sad really. If I do decide to shut this thing down, I'll keep it up for posterity, maybe someone will happen across it and see for the rantings and screeds of the misunderstood genius that it is...oh wait!!! No one reads the fracking thing!!!!

Not that Blogger is hurting for disk space that they'll be sending me nastygrams asking me in a polite, but firm manner to "please get this piece of shit blog off our servers, we need the space to host yet another roaring account of some lady in Dubuque, Iowa and her cat's hairballs".

Then again, frack it!!! I'll keep it up. I have spent two years carving out this little outpost on the ass end of the blogosphere, and while it has a readership that can be counted on one hand with fingers to spare, it is MY little project, and like the "Relentless Pursuit of Higher Education" from which the seedof the Moonlight Scribbler germinated, this is something that I can hang my hat on and point to with a measure of pride and say "Yeah, I did that." Kinda like a toddler when he makes his first doody in the toilet. Besides, I just realized that the Moonlight Scribbler turned three years old on April 6th. It's old enough to know the word "NO!!!" There's now way I can get rid of it now. CYS would be on my ass in a heartbeat. This is my child as it were.

Maybe I need to find a new direction, a repurposing as it were. The fact that I'm sitting at Allegra and actually updating it shows that I haven't completely given up on the thing. The Muse may have left me, but she didn't rule out the possibility of coming by for the occasional visit. At least that's what I got from the note. I guess this means I'll have to spend some time thinking about which direction I want the Scribbler to take, which means that I have to spend less time reading and analyzing Ah! My Goddess! and playing games on the PSP and listening to 5,000 podcasts a day.

Then again, maybe not.

No comments: