Okay campers, for the first time ever, Your City League Advocate is reporting live from his 13th Annual Birthday Bacchanal and Clambake. Currently being held in an undisclosed location, The Advocate decided this year to host his City League Preview on the scene instead of after the event as in years past.
The reason is, quite simply, that Your City League Advocate is getting a little long in the tooth, and his memory as well as his ability to bounce back from 24 hours of alcohol-fueled insanity involving hundreds of people in varying states of drunkeness as well as undress, is not what it used to be. These days it takes a full three days before the Advocate stops seeing pink elephants dancing on the ceiling and his head stops pounding like Keith Moon had been using it as a snare drum.
And considering that the current week's slate of games starts in three days, it was decided that the Advocate should just do his reportage now while his head is still relatively clear.
Let's get the bad news out of the way. The “Catch the Virgin” contest Sponsored by Extenze had to be cancelled this year not because of a lack of virgins, although they are becoming increasingly rare, but a lack of participants.
Too many of the contest regulars are either too scared to sign up because their wives will divorce them in a hot minute, or they just don't have the wherewithal to complete both parts of the contest.
As you may remember, in 2008, “Mad Mike” Muchacho had caught the virgin in record time, but he could not complete the second half of the contest, and The Advocate need not discuss what that part is. Only three intrepid souls signed up and we just decided that it wasn't enough to hold the contest.
The Most Lethal Drink Contest sponsored by Jack Daniels is going well. The current leader going into the final round of judging is an interesting little potion called Ragnarok. The Advocate doesn't know much about this libation, but he saw one of the drink's creators feed it to one of the many furry woodland creatures that inhabit this remote location. The critter grew to the size of a tiger and ate the poor man.
Currently we're using a few of the rocket launchers provided by the Army for use in the “Fun with High Explosives” event to fend the ravenous beast off. We were thinking of throwing it one of our spare cheerleaders, but cooler heads as well as those with law degrees and bar cards prevailed.
At least no one grabbed one of the aforementioned rocket launchers and cooked off a round scattering patrons and scaring the animals to death...yet.
This was just a taste of the fun and games that were going on during the Bacchanal, but The Advocate must not forget his first function and that is to provide the best in analysis of the Pittsburgh City League.
For all but one team, this was the opening weekend of City League action. And the first game of the weekend did not disappoint. The Allderdice Dragons broke a 6-6 second quarter tie by scoring 18 unanswered points on the way to a 24-6 drubbing of the Oliver Bears. Considering that the Advocate picked DaBears to be one of the teams to make it to the playoffs this season, he believes that this qualifies as a mild upset.
What was even more astounding was that Quarterback Mike Pfleger went 6 for 8 and passed for 119 yards and ran for 1 TD and passed for another. 'Big deal', you might say. 'Hell, there are a dozen QB's in the WPIAL that post better numbers in one quarter.' And you'd be right, Bunkie. But remember, this is the City League and Allderdice we're talking about.
The 'Dice has never been a good passing team. And the last two years were especially horrible. When a 'Dice QB winds up to throw the ball, the fans cringe in fear because the results are often too painful to bear. Patrick Ferguson ran for 132 yds and scored two TD's in the 'Dice's win. Now this is only one game, and The Advocate can't tell whether Oliver just had a bad day or whether the Green Hats have improved that much in the offseason.
The Dragons' mettle will be tested in their next game of the young season when they take on the Brashear Bulls, who dispatched the Schenley Spartans 27-12. The Bulls scored 14 points in the first quarter and never looked back. Bulls QB Adam Lynch ran for one score and passed for another while they scored two TD's off Schenley turnovers. The Greeks will attempt to right the ship when they take on Oliver
The Perry Commodores bounced back from their stinging defeat at North Hills with a 46-0 blowout of the Carrick Raiders. Quarterback Greg McGhee went 13 for 23 and passed for 203 yards with three touchdowns and one pick. His favorite receiver on the day was Devin Ghafoor who was the recipent of eight of McGhee's passes for 102 yds and two TD's. This combo could be the best QB/WR pair in the City League this season. Perry's next opponent will be the winless Peabody Highlanders who dropped a big 27-6 decision to the Langley Mustangs who are 1-0 in the City and 2-0 overall.
Don't look at the Advocate like that...you heard him correctly. The Langley Mustangs are undefeated. The Advocate will give his gentle readers a few moments to wrap their heads around THAT development. Somewhere in the wide expanse of the City of Pittsburgh, heads are exploding all over the place.
Details of Langley-Peabody game were not avilable to the Advocate at the time, but he has to guess that this recent turn of events has to have the folks over on Sheridan Road thinking playoffs. And even though the chase is still at least a month away, this hot start for the Mustangs can only give them a ton of confidence. Something that poor doormat of a program has needed for a very long time. The Wild Horses travel 55 miles down Rt 22 to play the Homer Center Wildcats for their final non conference game.
And finally, the Big Bad Bulldogs of George Westinghouse High School traveled down to Linsly School in West By-Gawd Virginia to battle the Cadets. Any chance of the 'Dawgs bringing their non league schedule to a close by being the first City League team to win both of their non-league games was crushed by the prep school 48-14. According the account the Advocate received, the Bulldogs mustered 220 yds of total offense, but most of it came on four big pass plays. The House were outgained on the ground 262-6 and never forced Linsly to punt once. The next game for the Big Bads will be against Carrick for their City League opener.
Langley (1-0, 2-0)
Allderdice (1-0, 1-1)
Brashear (1-0, 1-1)
Perry (1-0, 1-1)
Westinghouse (0-0, 1-1)
Carrick (0-1, 0-2)
Schenley (0-1, 0-2)
Oliver (0-1, 0-2)
Peabody (0-1, 0-2)
6pm Thursday September 16th
Brashear vs Allderdice
This could be the most intriguing game of the week. Allderdice's dominance of Oliver last weekend raised a bunch of questions in the Advocate's mind. Was Allderdice really good , or did they catch Oliver on a bad night? This game will answer some of those questions. A win by the 'Dice could send a pretty strong message to the top half of the league that the Dragons are a player to be reckoned with. Brashear scored 27 points against the defending City Champs which means they have some firepower of their own. After the last two years, the Advocate has not been sold on whether the Dragons are the real deal yet. Brashear by 10
3:30pm Friday September 17.
Carrick vs Westinghouse.
Both teams are coming off very bad losses. Carrick has been hammered twice. The Bulldogs went 1-1 against non-league schools which is quite respectable given the City League's history against non City opponents. This will be the City opener for the Big Bads and they are gonna want show that they learned something the past two weeks. The Advocate likes the 'Dawgs in this one. Westinghouse by 7.
7:30pm Friday September 17
Peabody vs Perry.
This game will be over by the end of the first quarter. Peabody is a mess. Perry by 28.
Langley at Homer Center.
The Advocate doesn't know much about Homer Center other than they are 0-2 and were outscored 73-6 in their first two games. They are out of District 6 near the center of the state and they are a Class A school which should allow Langley to match up with them. The skinny The Advocate has gotten says that they have a lot of seniors back, but they aren't very big. They limped into the playoffs last season with a 5-5 record, but they got blown out in the first round. Not knowing much about the level of competition the Wildcats face in their conference, the Advocate will give Homer Center the benefit of the doubt. Homer Center by 7.
12pm Saturday September 18
Schenley vs Oliver.
Both teams are 0-2 and need to turn things around. The Advocate thinks that Oliver's loss to the 'Dice while not a fluke, was very much unexpected. The Bears will come out strong for this game. And the Advocate likes them to defeat Schenley, although look for a tight game. Oliver by 7.