.Though I tend to fall center-left in my politics, there are times when my liberal brethren can be just as annoying as pricks as conservatives.
There are times when I just don't give a shit about whether the hamburger I eat is contributing to climate change or whether the beef comes from factory farms rather than organically grass-fed artisanal small-batch meat that cost $20/lb at Whole Foods.
Or whether something I say causes some sensitive lefty to get their organically sourced, free-trade, not-made-in-a-sweat-shop-by-Indonesian-child-labor panties in a twist.
There are times when I'd like to take PC safe space prattle and shove it sideways up some overbearing snowflake's tuckus.
Sometimes liberal moralizing can go just a little too far and I end up just going all PacFleet Shellback squid on somebody. And then start using various four letter words as nouns, verbs, adjectives, adverbs, conjunctions, pronouns, prepositions, participles and gerunds.
If you want to be a feminist, vegan, LGBTQIAMICKEYMOUSE-friendly climate change, animal rights, left-leaning Bernieite, fine. Knock yourself out. I happen to agree with a lot of that stuff.
But don't look askance at me, nor sniff self righteously, or prepare to sermonize me because I occasionally like to eat junk food, fried chicken, Mac and cheese, or some other food that isn't heart-healthy, low-cholesterol, or gluten-free.
Or fetishize my dog as one my children, or say a dirty joke that may cause your head to combust in righteous indignation.
Don't be that guy or girl. You might have good intentions, but you'll end up coming across like some miserable do-gooder stick in the mud that desperately needs some good unhealthy food, good beer, and you should probably get laid more often.
Here ends the sermon, the ushers will now come forward