What the hell. Let's just give everybody a gun. Put a Colt .45 in newborn's creches, give Smith and Wesson .38's away free if you buy 8 gallons of gas or open a Christmas club account.
Let's give AR-15's to trick or treaters for Halloween. Give AK-47's out with diplomas to graduating seniors. Teach the dog how to shoot a Tec-9. Put snub-nosed revolvers in Cracker Jacks and cereal boxes.
Put a display of Glocks next to People magazine in the grocery store check out line. Give out Kimbers to employees with their paychecks. Pass out Sig Sauer's to the old folks with their Social Security checks.
Let little Johnny and Suzie bust out their Mossberg shotguns at show and tell. Let them cook off a box of buckshot at recess.
Hey, we can't stop people from shooting up schools, churches, concerts, nightclubs, etc. Might as well just let everyone go around packing heat. Even the folk who are a cheeseburger and fries short of a Happy Meal!
Why not? Guns for everybody!!! What could POSSIBLY go wrong?